


Middle Ground

by semilunars



Series: when we all fall asleep, where do we go? [1]
Category: Sdorica: Sunset (Video Game)
Genre: (to an extent. this is at least post-s2 without considering updates from mirage ch 12 onwards), Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst with an Ambiguous Ending, Beta Read, Canon Divergence, Childbirth, Gen, Implied Dysphoria, Light Angst, Post-Canon, Trans Male Character, Unplanned Pregnancy, adding one (1) cw tag during a quarantine midnight? heck yeah, read the tags and summary please
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-19 13:08:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22911526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/semilunars/pseuds/semilunars
Summary: [cw for mentions of pregnancy and childbirth for trans folks. nothing too graphic but viewer discretion is advised. if these are uncomfortable topics for you, feel free to sit this one out. see notes for more.]---But if bringing a child into this world with hopes of a brighter future was as foolish—If finding a possible middle ground for happiness meant that the cost might even be his life, then he'll bear— if not disprove— a fool's identity for the remainder of it.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: when we all fall asleep, where do we go? [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1690822
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	Middle Ground

**Author's Note:**

> tl;dr – last february i dreamt i found a post-mirage sdorica fic where elio had An Oopsie. some hinted dynamics included sopheli and ticaeli (both platonic); tica is still barbara’s disciple here; i added some ticarice and uhhhh everything else including the exact time skip (which was at least a year) is unclear bc dreams are Wack but you know…
> 
> the atmosphere in it caught me off guard to the point where i just had to write it down and get it out of my head. and to be honest? this was... admittedly, one of the most challenging one-shots i've written recently. and it’s not just because it’s from a dream, not just because i’m a 20+ y/o demigirl who has much to learn about experiences and tries their best to be cautious with headcanons. so for the sake of not messing up what’s already hard to properly put in words, i left it ambiguous and open-ended.
> 
> one thing’s for sure is that it was a difficult situation for elio. the looming loneliness in it didn't help, either, so... hopefully i did his friendships with tica and sophie some justice.
> 
> special thanks to elentiya on discord for beta-reading!!

_"Was Ceres unconscious ever since you found him, Chevalier?"_

_"Yes, Headmaster. He doesn't appear to be injured or anything, though! But..."_

_"But?"_

_"But I found out that he's also hiding something... important. Something you really need to know."_

_"...? How long has he been hiding this?! And what of the other parent? Charle? Morris? Anyone else?"_

_"It's just him, Headmaster..."_

_"So,_ _Charle and Morris, then..."_

_"..."_

_"Headmaster Barbara?"_

_"...Notify me once Ceres wakes up. I... I need a moment to process all this."_

Going face-to-face with a band of rogue Panthers by himself was hard.

Going to war and then wandering foreign territory was even harder.

But neither had left Elio in the kind of physical pain he was currently processing.

Nearly a month had passed since Tica found him, since Barbara made the difficult decision to look after him on his fathers' behalf.

Tica called for Sharice and Barbara once it was clear that he was greatly struggling, rudely interrupted after growing drowsy from reading. It was merely two in the morning when it all began— one contraction after another; they were so close to each other that it felt like one big wave of pain. Before he knew it, he was wide awake.

The moment Sharice came back with more supplies from Tica’s quarters (namely, a few potions and some water), everyone else was looking after him, helping him collect himself to the best of their ability. Groaning soon grew into near-yelling as he held onto Tica for dear life, while the lancer walked over to wipe his sweat and tears with a fresh, damp towel.

The younger sorceress recited healing spells in her head as she eased her old friend’s agony, bearing her own from Elio’s grip in silence. It wasn't something Tica expected when she was first taught about healing, but to be fair, he’s done things and made sacrifices he wasn’t proud of, conducted movements that brought plenty a great risk into consideration. And he survived all of that. All for the notion of “family”.

That means she can save him, then... right?

And there was _this._

There were days where he couldn't bring himself to look in the mirror. Wherein shock brought him back to square one. Wherein the reality of it all left him with anxiety and uncertainty lingering in his lungs, with a legion of conflicting thoughts swimming around his skull and leaving him less intact than he typically was. Just like the waves that seared stubbornly against the tides that were Barbara, Sharice, and Tica's efforts. Just like the bile that ate at his stomach and burned his throat months ago, sharply contrasting Sophie's back rubs and gentle reassurances for every time he wept and retched his sorry excuse of a breakfast into a bucket.

Just like his fever.

Elio swore he just heard Sharice curse, accompanied by an inaudible mutter in between the lines of "He's still burning up."

Elio was frailer than most Feather Tribe demihumans his age. And after surviving kidnapping, experimentation, several attempts on his life... his chances of surviving childbirth at _nineteen_ were even lower.

But he persisted.

For someone who would find ways around things with his smarts, Elio could be foolish. He acknowledged that. He was even foolish enough to hide the truth from their other parent, not wanting to hold them back and let everything fall apart.

But if bringing a child into this world with hopes of a brighter future was as foolish—

“Just a little more,” Barbara calmly called from the foot of his bed.

If finding a possible middle ground for happiness meant that the cost might even be his life, then he'll bear— if not disprove— a fool's identity for the remainder of it.

Elio was wishing for many things— for the waves to finally stop crashing included— but more importantly, he wished Angelia wasn’t robbed of a better fate, that she was here to comfort him without any judgments. Like Sophie used to, like Tica did.

He could end up like his late aunt, or even his _mother;_ who knows?

How he wished he was able to visit Sophie, Rune, and the circus one last time, or at least send a letter to them.

How he wished Clark and Maria didn’t have to leave so soon.

How he _wished_ his fathers were here to see their first grandchild.

He was steadying his breathing again, repeating the headmistress’ words in his head, ensuring they weren’t swept away by the cries and— oh, Sun, the burning and tearing— and the crashes of travail.

Just a little more.

_Just a little more._

Elio was brought back to reality when he heard his— his _child,_ wailing for the first time; upon hearing them, everything came to a halt.

_He did it._

The worst of it was finally over. He wearily muttered those words in joy, continuing to weep in between.

"It's a girl."

"...Dawn." Elio's voice was a whisper, dangerously close to a swan song. _His Dawn._ At the very least, he finally got to see her.

An afterbirth later, his body grew weak soon enough, and the last thing Elio wished for was enough energy to just hold her in his arms, a moment to apologize for a currently incomplete family, a minute or two to feel her warmth before his consciousness completely slips.

His head was spinning.

His vision was slowly growing dark.

He was _slightly_ caked in blood.

But _he_ did _it_ , and that _was_ all that mattered.

**Author's Note:**

> 


End file.
